I grew up an atheist in New Jersey, much to my sweet Catholic grandmother's bummed-ness.
I was a real dick about it too. I'm sorry to my best friend Christine's family for being that annoying know-it-all kid, who really doesn't know shit because kids generally just can't.
Nothing changed on my belief front throughout college and a few years out, although I at least became more understanding and accepting of those who did believe in God.
It was through years of my chronic illness taking most everything away from me that I was brought to a place of no choice but to surrender and find, what I will call, spirituality. Well, my other choice was dying in the pursuit of self-medicating my disease like both of my biological parents, but I knew I wasn't meant for that.
And just knowing that gave me a clue that there is a greater purpose to human life than merely constantly seeking out worldly pleasure while avoiding pain for as long as possible.
What kept shutting me down was that hard science was always v important to me and seemed to be so irreconcilable with religion. It turns out there are many more "religions" than what I was exposed to as a kid and it is astonishingly possible to validate. What I believe now completely fits in with the advancements in quantum physics of the past decade, which is actually fucking thrilling.
And I can't even describe my situation as "believing" honestly. I fully know it to be true more than I know anything else is true in the world. You could convince George Washington never existed before I would say "maybe we aren't all one?"
I also know I'm not going to be able to explain this in one blog post at all. I guess that's why they have categories!
I will post this as a part 1 and come back to it soon with the next installment breaking down the most important philosophical cornerstones and sharing the sources that most inspire me. Or maybe I will end up writing something different, but that's the idea.